PeterParticipantJuly 13, 2014 at 10:02 pm #2021
Last night was a ton of fun! After the first half of the night where we had our initial lecture, we went out to a rooftop bar. Chris and Hector had us approaching sets right away. I lost count of how many sets I approached, I’d say around 8 or more. I think the biggest set I went up to was 4 girls. Typically when I go to a bar I’m usually spending the whole night trying to find that one girl alone so this is new for me, but Chris had us do some drills beforehand to get us to break out of our shells. Surprisingly the sets were easier to approach than I’ve always imagined. A few sets didn’t last long, mostly the ones that didn’t speak english. One pair of girls I tried my spanish skills on but quickly ran out of things to say with my limited spanish vocabulary. I seem to always go for the foreign girls lol.
After each set we got feedback from one or both of the instructors. Hector noticed I wasn’t touching much so that was my goal for the night. I really have to break my habit of not touching. Hector also demonstrated it to me: he went up to a huge set, not even sure how many girls probably like 8 asian girls, and opened all of them, introduced himself, transitioned near his target, quickly broke the group into a smaller 3 set, then isolated the one girl, all like under a minute.
After the instructors headed out for the night, the other students and I stuck around a little longer. I approached another 3-set of hot albanians. And then a single set. The single set was a good story, I messed that one up. But she definitely wanted to go home from the start. When I shook her hand she just held it there so we were like holding hands for 2 mins or so. And she never broke eye contact and pupils were dilating. And I moved her to a more quiet spot. Then I guess i bored her lol. Not sure what I did wrong but I’m sure I’ll learn in the upcoming weeks. I think maybe when I moved her to a quiet spot I should have not talked about boring stuff like her job/background, I should have probably skipped over that content and talked about something more intimate?Christopher LunaModeratorJuly 13, 2014 at 10:37 pm #2022
Peter, last night you did well for week #1 of a Dating Mastery Program. You were approaching and getting attraction, which is an awesome start : ) You even moved a girl!
With this said, you hold a lot of tension in your body both naturally, and especially when you get nervous around more attractive women, as I showed to you on my iPhone through pictures that I took of you talking to women.
The exercise in the workshop, in which, I made you scream as loud as you could, was a great one! It forced you to use your voice’s potential, as well as your entire body. The process of screaming broke you out of the container that you keep yourself in, which will be important to unleashing your personality.
Other things that would help are: yoga, improv, and body dynamics classes. We’ll talk about why in the next class, and then we’ll do exercises to help you work through this.
This is a common challenge a lot of men face. When we get nervous, we tense up. If we’re too tense too often, we can mistakenly train ourselves to physically carry our anxieties in our body throughout our daily life. Women will pickup on this, and it will unconsciously influence the way they interact with us in a negative way.
As far as the girl that you describe at the end, it sounds like she wanted you to kiss her. Instead, because you were nervous, you talked your way out of a moment of intimacy with her. We’re going to cover moving things intimately later in the Dating Mastery Program so that you don’t lose anymore of these opportunities.
In the meantime, I’m linking an article that I wrote that will help: When to kiss a girl.
Again great start!PeterParticipantJuly 13, 2014 at 10:54 pm #2025
Oh that’s right my movement too. That was funny all those pictures you took at different angles throughout my conversation with that one girl, the girl was in different position in each photo but I hadn’t moved the slightest inch. Yeah I guess I never noticed I become stiff as a board, and my hands down to my side.
With kissing her, I wasn’t sure if it’d be too soon. Like all I did was give her a compliment and hold out my hand for a shake and then she held on to it. Looking at that blog post it seems all the criteria were there, but would it be weird for her to just kiss with only knowing her name? She seemed pretty sober too. Like we moved to a quiet spot within 10 seconds because we were in a crowded area, but maybe once in the quiet spot I should have just tried for a kiss. At the time I probably overthought it.
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