Craft of Charisma has been New York’s top dating coach since 2008. During that time, we’ve worked with thousands of people to help them reach their dating and relationship goals.
Our focus has been helping men of all ages, backgrounds, and personality types to successfully meet, attract, and connect with women, get more love in their lives, and build lasting relationships.
Why Hire a Dating Coach
Generally, someone will hire a dating coach because they’re trying to solve a problem in their romantic life, and they want to save time solving that problem.
At Craft of Charisma, our dating coaches have years of experience coaching thousands of clients — our average coach is an assistant for more than three years before we let them run a workshop on their own.
Because of this wealth of experience, there are things that our dating coaches are able to see in our clients and adjust, often in seconds, that our clients would never be able to recognize on their own.
One of these changes might be significant, but a series of these changes is often transformational and can save a man from a lifetime of romantic frustrations.
2. Advice Tailored to You
While rеlаtіоnѕhір bооkѕ аnd аrtісlеѕ саn bе hеlрful, уоu’ll probably end up spending than hаlf уоur tіmе wаdіng through gеnеrаl mаtеrіаl that dоеѕn’t аррlу tо уоur lіfе.
Onе-ѕіzе-fіtѕ-аll аdvісе isn’t really effective when it comes to dating and relationships. An experienced dating coach wіll zеrо іn оn уоur unique раttеrnѕ аnd реrѕоnаlіtу trаіtѕ tо dеѕіgn а ѕtrаtеgу that’s реrfесt fоr уоu.
Nоt оnlу dоеѕ а сuѕtоmіzеd рlаn gеnеrаtе rеѕultѕ, but уоur соасh саn tweak it оvеr tіmе аѕ уоu еvоlvе аnd іdеntіfу nеw іѕѕuеѕ оr рrоblеmѕ.
Studіеѕ ѕhоw that people are fаr mоrе lіkеlу tо rеасh аnd mаіntаіn а реrѕоnаl gоаl when they lеt ѕоmеоnе еlѕе іn оn their рlаnѕ.
When you’re the оnlу оnе kееріng tаbѕ оn уоur рrоgrеѕѕ, іt саn bе еаѕу tо fаll bасk іntо unhealthy сусlеѕ оr еvеn сhеаt оn уоur ѕсоrеѕ.
A dating coach, much lіkе а реrѕоnаl trаіnеr or any other type of coach, provides you with that extra push you need tо роwеr through the tоugh оr uncomfortable mоmеntѕ that mау оthеrwіѕе lеаd tо quitting bеfоrе уоu rеасh your goal.
4. A Personal Touch
Wоrkіng wіth а dating coach is nоt lіkе раѕѕіvеlу wаtсhіng a video оr аttеndіng а ѕеmіnаr. It іnvоlvеѕ dеvеlоріng а wаrm аnd еnrісhіng rеlаtіоnѕhір wіth ѕоmеоnе who is truly іnvеѕtеd іn hеlріng уоu асhіеvе роѕіtіvе rеѕultѕ.
Developing a personal соnnесtіоn with your coach can help motivate you to keep going even when you run into obstacles and challenges. Yоu ѕіmрlу саn’t gеt that tуре оf dуnаmіс, іntеrасtіvе еxреrіеnсе anywhere else.
What Men Look For When Hiring a Dating Coach
Below are some of the common problems that men are trying to solve when they take our dating coaching programs.
A man who can approach a woman and knows how to move that relationship intimately is a man who has a lot more command over his destiny.
We empower these men by giving them the tools they need to meet, attract, and connect with women.
Our clients often want more choices in their love life.
We’ve found that when men feel like they have quality romantic options, they feel empowered. When they don’t feel like they don’t have quality romantic options, they feel frustrated.
Our dating coaches will help you develop skill sets that will enable you to have an abundance of high quality romantic options.
Whether it’s meeting women in person, optimizing their online dating profiles, or dating through their social circle, we help our clients develop the romantic options that they really want.
Higher Quality Women
Our clients are looking to improve the quality of the women that they date.
This could mean that they want to date women who are more attractive, educated, professionally accomplished, have better values, or some other quality or combination of qualities.
We help men to bring forward their best selves, and work with them to meet the type of women that they would be proud to be with.
Some of our clients have had a lot of romantic experiences, while others have had little or none.
For the men with no romantic experience, they often don’t know where to start. If they do get into a romantic situation, they’re not sure how to navigate it.
We show these men how to move relationships intimately, so that they can have healthy sex lives.
A percentage of our clients have never been taught how to express their masculine energy.
Generally, these men also tend to carry a lot of sexual shame. People often describe them as nice, but in reality they often feel lost, frustrated, or angry inside, because they’re suppressing their desires, feelings, and instincts.
We’ve also noticed that they have a tendency to seek the validation of others because they’re scared of standing out or being rejected.
On occasions when they do try to express their masculinity, or their sexuality, they either go way too far, or not far enough. As a consequence, they usually end up as friends with women that they’re attracted to.
We help these men learn to comfortably express their masculinity and sexuality, and to develop their emotional and social intelligence so they can date successfully.
Emotional Expression and Connection
In contrast, we also have clients who are very good at expressing their masculine energy.
People think of them as being very “alpha.” Often, they have a lot of sexual experience, but they have a hard time opening up, making themselves vulnerable, and emotionally connecting with women.
These men get trapped in their masculinity. Women sleep with them, but don’t think of them as long term partners.
We teach these men to open up and allow themselves to be vulnerable so that they can emotionally connect with women, and have fulfilling relationships.
A man is only as strong as the men he has around him.
Men looking for community fall into one of two camps: Either they need new friends or they need different friends.
If a man needs new friends, it’s often because his friends have all moved on to different phases of their life. As an example, maybe his buddies are all settling down and he’s the last one who is still single.
Another man might be looking for different friends because he wants to grow and make changes in his life, but his friends are holding him back.
When a man takes a Craft of Charisma program, he joins a healthy community of supportive men who understand his situation and goals.
A lot of men don’t know why their love life isn’t working. They know that they’re not getting the results that they want but they don’t know how to change this.
We work with our clients to figure out what’s not working and then we help them to fix it.
Our clients want to make the most of their time on earth.
Regardless of what people say, dating doesn’t get easier as you get older.
Generally, it gets a lot harder because there are less available dating options, people have more baggage, and age will make it harder to naturally attract and connect with the women that you’re most attracted to.
Our experience is that the best time to date is almost always now and that the best time to get better at dating was yesterday. We can’t emphasize this strongly enough, time is cruel. You won’t get your lost time back.
We help our clients save time so that they can make the most out of their life.
How Our Classes Are Structured
Our live dating coaching programs have five main components:
1) Lecture / Q&A
Our curriculum is based on the questions our clients have asked us over the years. Some common questions include:
- How do I approach a girl?
- How do I approach a girl with her friends?
- How do I know if she’s interested in me?
- How do I touch her?
- How do I ask for her number?
- When should I text her?
You get the general idea. If you have answers to enough of your dating questions and you’re able to solve those problems, you’ll become very happy with the state of your love life.
With that said, we want to make certain that what we’re covering in our classes is pertinent to you, your needs, and your goals. That’s why we’re always evolving our curriculum. Bring in your questions to each session and we’ll make sure that you get answers that you need.
2) Role-Play Exercises
Next, we role-play through various dating scenarios.
For example, we might have you role-play how you would approach a woman with her friends, or initiate the touch that leads up to a kiss.
Then we give you feedback in a safe environment before we go out for live practice in the singles scene.
3) Live Practice
We go out into the singles scene to get real-world practice and experiences meeting and interacting with women.
Craft of Charisma coaches are there to guide you through this process. We answer your questions, share observations, and show you what you’re doing right and wrong.
5) Reflective Practice
After every infield session, we ask our clients to reflect back on what happened.
During this process, we want them to identify where they’re getting stuck and what new questions are coming up. Then we use these questions to develop the curriculum for our next session.
As you can see, dating coaching is really about self-development. And self-development is an interactive and iterative process.
What to Look For In a New York Dating Coach
One of our former clients is a New York based psychologist, with his PhD from a top university, and over 30 years experience as a therapist at his private practice.
We asked him why he chose Craft of Charisma to be his dating coach, and here’s what he said:
“Picking a dating coach is a lot like choosing a therapist. You search online, you look at reviews, you might ask a close friend for a recommendation, but in the end, the most important thing is whether you feel comfortable with the person that you’re working with, that they understand you and where you’re coming from, and whether you believe that they are able to guide you to where you want to go to become who you want to be.”
We agree. We recommend that you follow this approach when you hire a dating coach, and that you choose a program and a company that feels right for you, even if that’s not Craft of Charisma.
What to Consider Before Hiring a Dating Coach in New York
Look at their body of work. This could include videos, articles, podcasts, media interviews or reviews.
Then ask yourself, “Does this person or company seem to understand the problems that I’m trying to solve?” and, “Is this the person or company that I want to work with to solve them?”
Questions to Ask a Dating Coach
Talk to them about your situation and goals. Ask them about how their programs and services are structured, and why they’re structured that way.
Also, ask about reasonable expected outcomes for their dating coaching programs.
Can I Get Better at Dating?
Yes. Dating successfully (I’ll let you define that for yourself) is really just a set of skills. And we can teach them to you.
How to Get the Most Out of a Dating Coaching Program
Dating coaching isn’t a one size fits all formula. Anyone who teaches that way is only doing that for themselves, and not for the benefit of their clients.
If you want to get the most out of your dating coaching program, you have to become aware of the places you’re getting stuck, and communicate these to your dating coach.
Our dating coaches use a simple three part process: Identify, document, and communicate. It’s built into all our dating coaching programs and it allows us to make certain that we’re working with you on what we should be working on.
Why Most of Our Clients Are Men
At some point in their life, most people have dating and relationship questions. But men are often uniquely unprepared for modern romance.
As children, boys are often told to keep their hands to themselves and to limit the expression of their emotions.
Later in life, society becomes frustrated when men don’t know how to navigate touch or express their feelings, let alone their sexual desires.
In contrast, girls are more strongly encouraged to engage in physical touch, and through this process, they learn how to navigate space and physical boundaries.
It’s also more likely that girls will be encouraged to express their feelings and talk through situations, further developing their social skills and emotional intelligence.
As girls grow into women, we begin to prepare them for a world of men. Boys generally don’t get this same type of attention.
While a lot of young women are reading teen magazines preparing them for dating and relationships and how to attract boys, a lot of boys are playing sports and video games.
These are gender stereotypes, but they’re at least partially a consequence of the difference in the age of puberty. Essentially, girls end up with a head-start over boys their age. And the boys will have to catch up later.
As adults, men are generally expected to initiate courtship with a woman. For reasons that I’ve described above, a lot of men don’t know how to do that — they’re naturally behind.
In contrast, a young attractive woman will get romantic opportunities whether she wants them or not. This makes it easier for women to gain romantic experiences as opposed to the men who are often initiating the interactions.
Also, when a woman has a relationship problem, she’s generally more likely to talk through it with her friends. Men are more likely to keep their problems to themselves — because they’ve been conditioned to.
We’re not saying that women can’t benefit from dating coaching. The problems men and women face when dating are different.
Although society is changing in some ways, women focus on attracting men, and their challenges in romance tend to be things like:
- How do I attract a man?
- How do I attract the right man?
- How do I screen him?
- How do I get him to stay around?
- How do I keep myself safe through this process?
Men have to learn how to meet, attract, and move a woman through the modern courtship process. You can call this courtship, seduction, hooking up, dating, getting laid, getting a girlfriend, finding love, finding a wife, finding your soulmate.
They’re essentially all steps in the same direction. The truth is that men and women have different journeys and obstacles in their search for a mate.
Going back to the original question, most of our clients are men because when it comes to romance, men start biologically, emotionally, and developmentally behind women. There is nothing wrong with that. Part of our job as a dating coach is to help them save time catching up.
Some other interesting facts…
We’ve found that men will hire a dating coach at almost any age. We’ve had men attend our workshops who range from ages 18 – 85, with an average range of 21 – 45. In contrast, our female clients tend to be older.
Our experience has been that women are more likely to hire a dating coach when they’re just out of a long term relationship and trying to adjust to being single, and when they’re approaching menopause and they’re worried about whether they’re going to meet someone in time to have children.
In every situation where we’ve had a female client under 30 years old, she felt that she was behind her peers because of: a health issue, trauma, body image issue, or because she was raised in a restrictive sub-culture or religion. In most cases, it was a combination of these challenges.
What a Typical Success Story Looks Like
This can best be exemplified by a quick story from our founder, Chris Luna:
One night, I took a small group of men from a Craft of Charisma intro class out into the beer-garden that lives below The Standard Hotel in Manhattan’s Meatpacking district.
As I walked across the room, I heard a man yell my name. The man was sitting at a picnic table, and I recognized him immediately. He was a former client of ours, who had been through the Dating Mastery Program about two years prior.
When I made eye contact with him, he stood up and came over. He was extremely happy as he asked me how I’d been and what I’d been up to.
As we caught up, I remembered the moment I met him. It was the day that he signed up for Craft of Charisma dating coaching. He was terrified and full of doubt. He struggled to make eye contact with me, and his voice quivered, “Can I be helped?”
I assured him that he could, and that meeting and connecting with women was a skill set, and that he absolutely could learn how to do it.
The first night that we took him out to a bar for infield practice, he was terrified. He didn’t want to talk to anyone. As the class progressed, things got a lot easier for him.
But now, two years later, he appeared to be a different human being from the guy that I knew in my classes. He stood tall and held eye contact. He was present and he was clearly very comfortable in that bar.
“What are you doing here?” he asked.
“I’m running an intro class.”
He smiled, “Where are the clients?” I gestured to two guys who stood uncomfortably behind me. He turned to them and pointed to me, “I took this guy’s Dating Mastery Program and I got laid 23 times as a direct consequence. Then I met my girlfriend and now I’m getting married.”
“Why would you do that?” One of the guys asked, “If things were going so well?”
“Because the other relationships helped me discover what I wanted, and I found it.” Then he pulled out his phone and started sharing pictures of him and his beautiful girlfriend doing everyday life stuff together.
Today, he’s happily married, they have a beautiful baby, and he’s building his family and his life with the woman that he loves.
At Craft of Charisma, we believe that dating and relationships are processes of growth and discovery, and we approach dating coaching in this way. If you have any questions about our programs or approach to dating coaching, please contact us!