Chris LunaWouldn’t it be great if all of your dates came through introductions? For one, it’s more efficient than approaching women in bars, clubs, or on the street. In sales, referrals are far more likely to buy from you than cold leads. The same principle applies to courtship.
If you are already part of a woman’s social network, then she will become comfortable with you much more quickly because she’ll feel that you are “safe.” But equally important, at least if you are looking for something serious, is that you are more likely to find the type of woman you want by dating through your friends and coworkers.
If you’re looking for a relationship, you probably want to date someone who shares your values and interests. Since we often choose friends who share our interests, our friends often know other people that we’d be interested in meeting and potentially dating.
People often ask, if social circle dating is so effective, why do so many dating coaches take their clients to bars and clubs? There are a couple of answers to that question.
The first reason is the sheer number of women at bars and clubs. Dating coaches have to take clients to environments where there are enough women and social opportunities to practice. Also, when you practice in a bar or club and make a mistake while learning, there are seldom social repercussions, unlike when dating in your social circle.
At a club, if you approach a woman, misread her signals, and attempt to kiss her too quickly, then the worst thing that happens is a moment of awkwardness. If you’re with friends or coworkers, the consequences can be much more serious. That’s no reason to give up on social circle dating forever, but it is a good reason to build your social and dating skills through cold approach first.
Once you get comfortable with approaching and interacting with strangers in bars, clubs, or on the street, you’ll be better equipped to pursue a relationship with a friend or coworker. As a result of increased social experience, you’ll have a better feeling of how to navigate these situations, and this added confidence will increase your chances of success.
Chris Luna
Founder, CEO, and Head Dating & Life Coach @ Craft of Charisma dating and relationship coaching.