• Aleksey

    My experiences during an intro class with Chris

    Went out to Meatpacking district with Chris.

    The place was somewhat crowded so I worked my way towards a clearer area. I saw a group of attractive girls at one of the tables (a few were standing and a few were sitting). I was able to approach them saying “I think you look cool.” I am pretty sure I did the step-back this time.

    Overall, these girls were quite receptive to my approach: as it turned out they were students at Columbia (where I go to school). I asked them what they studied and it turned out that they studied neuroscience. The conversation flowed well, and they were interested in me asking question of their own. We ended up talking about one of the professors in the physics department. At some point I mentioned some astronomy parties that we have and told the girls that they would be welcome to come to the next one. This was probably not the best strategy as the invitation is too nebulous: I didn’t invite them to a specific event or party, it was more of a standing invitation. I gave one of the girls my number so we could communicate about the party, but I was nervous to ask for hers (I have never asked a girl for her number). However, this is clearly a psychological barrier. It would only be logical for me to ask for their numbers after inviting them: that way I could send them more concrete details later.

    Another thing I didn’t do was touch, beyond some initial contact to grab attention. Also, we were standing between a couple tables, where a bunch of people we walking, and so I kept getting bumped. It would have been better to move the group somewhere else…(Perhaps to the back of the bar which was much less crowded).

    This was the longest interaction and the most successful of the night. Overall, I feel there was a lot of common ground and a lot of potential for connection.

    Most of the others were quite short. Some of the groups I approached left pretty quickly (e.g. to get drinks). One pair at the bar told me right away that they were waiting for their boyfriends. So I just did a quick introduction and said I was socializing and meeting new friends and then let them be.

    Sometimes my physical positioning was awkward: once I was approaching a group near a door frame and I was stepping back, I bumped into someone, which completely broke my concentration.

    I tried a couple of approaches working with Sharan but we were always positioned so that we were facing the group, which is a bad use of space. One wants to always alternate genders in the group.

    For some reason I thought that if you could get the alternating genders pattern right off the bat you would be doomed. But as Chris pointed out to me you can always just cross over later.

    Overall I had a lot of fun: it was great to be out with a group for a change (as opposed to the last few weeks where I had just gone out by myself). Also, it was great knowing that Chris was there to answer any question and provide encouragement

    Things to work on: Moving the group, Touch, Crossing across the group.

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