kaishParticipantJanuary 26, 2015 at 12:10 pm #3383
Good night overall – after the lecture we went out to 230 5th haven’t been here for a few years. All the sets on this day was of tourist or at least someone in the group was a tourist.
First set was 2 Girls from Korea they were taking pictures of the empire state building upstairs and I offered to take of both of them. After that started talking to them and initially wanted to pull way, Evan joined in winging me. I really wanted to leave cause I wasn’t attracted to them, but stayed in and made conversation. Evan had much presence than I did and I could see the girls had actually turned and we facing him. Rather than walking of I stayed around until we decided to go back in, but we lost them in the crowd.
The second set were 2 girls that I saw Jason approach but he moved on away quickly. Peter challenged me to talk to them and opening up was easy they were the only one with coffee cups in the whole club. Spoke to them for 5 minutes and they were quite friendly. Again not really attracted to any of them but they were much friendly than I imaged.
The 3rd set was a group of 3 women and I had no idea what to say so I just used an opener about my friend maya who travels alone. Worked well they were from Sweden and only town for a few days. I wanted to actually pull out way before my wingmen Paul and Michael came in. There was a blonde in the group that wouldn’t talk at all. So I focused on the other 2 and a few times came back to her and she finally spoke. Interesting enough the blonde said she would never do it because travelling alone requires so much energy and initiative to be social and that she wasn’t a social person. Which made sense and I could relate, often while travelling I find out to go out and meet people which is one of the reasons am taking the mastery class.
In the group Anna was the leader, more talkative and she was standing right in the middle so I moved closer to her. By that time Paul and Michael Joined us in the set.
We got to speak about what they were doing in NYC, turns out they all train horses and were at a competition in Florida and stopped by NYC to do some shopping and a bit of sightseeing.
I had a few touches with Anna, not prolonged just fo about 2 seconds. Found a way to hold her talking about the rings she had on her right hand. Then I tried to move her and then minute I said that she turned to her friends in attempt pulled them away, they were going to the restroom.
The 4th set was set of 2 women a tall blonde that you could see from the other side of the room and brunette. Initially when Chris pointed them out i stopped breathing for a second, but walked over anyway. I don’t remember what I said to them but I remember giving them high fives and they both started laughing. Michael joined me and I spoke to tall blond whose name was also Anna and they were from Sweden as well. No relation to the group from earlier. I tried something Billy taught me just a few minutes before about turning a woman and I was able to that just by turning myself and she followed. She had her back to her friend.
Interesting thing about Anna was she was CEO of Headhunting company and very laid back. They were waiting for some of their guy friends that they were travelling to Jamaica with. We chatted about Jamaica a few other places she had been and she gave me some suggestions of some places to go.
We were also standing very close to one of the speakers so I tried to move her a few steps away just so I could hear her better and at point she turned back to her friend that Michael was talking to. I Tried again and she said that they had to stay where they were for their friends to find them and then she added about how she had been travelling for 36 hrs and wasn’t really social at the moment. Thinking about it now I would do what Billy taught me, keep talking and talk a step back. Instead of telling her to move, just lead and have her follow me.
Otherwise felt great for the first night. I feel I’ve come a long way since taking the approach anxiety class.
Breakthroughs and Breakdowns
*Started the night with a bit of anxiety, but the more I approached the more I just relaxed and didn’t really care what would happen.
*I am letting go of the idea that I must have something to say, rather show up and whatever comes to mind go with that and this is really helping with the issue of getting stuck in my head.
*I have a tendency to give up easily when in set or wanting to walk away, also waiting for some sort of sign or permission that they like me so that I can keep talking to them
*Avoid interview style conversions, use more open ended questions
*Keep my hands out of my pocket
*Approach regardless of whether am attracted to them or notPeterParticipantJanuary 29, 2015 at 4:07 pm #3396
Good job the first night out. It’s great you are already trying to move girls, getting them to turn and stuff. I don’t think I got them turning until several weeks into the class. Yeah the open ended questions will definitely make a difference. Once you start building that habit it’ll just come naturally. Looking forward to tomorrow!EvanParticipantJanuary 30, 2015 at 6:49 pm #3400
Great first night Kairu. You were great moving into sets. From what I saw of you, a thing to work on is being more expressive and generally powerful in sets. Specifically – try to speak louder, take up more space, move more, laugh louder etc… alpha sort of stuff.
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