• Rob Virges

    It blows my mind that we’re already half way through the summer and besides working on everything else on my life that somehow indirectly relates to my game other than this week I haven’t consistently gone out to just to practice and fine tune my game. If you read my last post you can see that I slowly eased into the summer and my new style by building up the necessary foundations and utilizing improv classes as a form of cross training. But anyways I know you didn’t come here to listen to me ramble so let’s get on with how this week went. To give you some perspective on how I was able to re-motivate myself to get back out there with a consistent schedule and action plan it all started last Friday the 10th when I went out with the current Dating Mastery Class to help out and also work on my game. We all went out to the Frying Pan to get our necessary reps in. For the majority of the night I struggled early on to build up and develop my momentum mostly running with observational openers and just trying to implement what I learned at my improv classes.

    It felt forced but despite my reservations and struggle through the night what really motivated me the most to continue on was watching my friend and wingman Evan go to work. He’s not going to admit it but just watching him approach each set and work on being more un-inhibited with each group set I noticed a massive shift in his body language and voice. In the beginning of the night we both felt pretty stiff and a little rusty but I soon noticed he was able to get his momentum up very quickly. The bulk of our night at the Frying pan as I struggled I closely observed Evan as he was in complete control of a set of girls at the table next to us, with the exception of one girl who was trying to be a buzzkill and somehow turn the group against Evan, they brushed her off and continued vibing with him. It was very positively motivating for me because I have been struggling for a while since making a style change from being completely balls to the wall direct with every girl to something a little more indirect and calculating. More or less after he closed the set at the Frying Pan we continued our night to the meatpacking district to keep getting our necessary reps in.

    Despite losing a guy along the way to the meatpacking district I just couldn’t find my groove. Evan on the other hand being a little more un-inhibited managed to keep his momentum up and fearlessly kept approaching as the night wore on and each girl got colder and colder with the massive amount of guys flooding into each location we set foot in. We called it a night around 2:00am and despite feeling rusty and a little defeated mentally I felt inspired. Most people would feel resentful after seeing their wingman find their groove but for me I found it very positively motivating and inspiring.

    I spent the bulk of my week with a packed schedule but despite all the things I had to do I wanted to start the ladder approach me and Evan had decided on in the beginning of the summer. Go out and game twice a week and work up to 10 quality approaches during the day and at night utilizing functional openers, observational openers, opinion openers, and humor. I was able to let myself get completely un-inhibited and out of my head at my improv class this week. The drills we ran were pretty challenging but I felt mentally sharper and wittier after my Wednesday night class. I purposely timed my practice for the following Thursday and Friday to see if the class made a direct difference and impact on my game. I had to go to the mall that following Thursday to buy a belt as my old belt broke when I was at my friend’s birthday party the previous Saturday.

    After trekking through the Garden State Plaza Macy’s for a belt I stumbled upon the clearance section and found a $90.00 blazer that was on sale for $40 something dollars. It was a perfect fit and something that I felt would be a good addition to my new wardrobe that I have been slowly upgrading since the beginning of the summer. I completely forgot I had to get a belt but I had to get it since it was both a perfect fit for me and a bargain. I knew I needed to get at least one quality approach in so I decided to pay for my blazer at this specific counter where this cute cashier had been working. As I paid for my blazer I utilized an observational opener and complimented her on her gigantic gold necklace and matching earrings, I spontaneously started bantering with her asking her if she was a part-time rapper.

    She giggled as we bantered for a little bit and I asked her about what she did at Macy’s besides working the cash register. Despite having a pretty thick accent she told me the details about her job and her desire to work in the makeup department as a makeup artist. I asked her about her ethnicity and if she was Lebanese, she told me “close” with a surprised look on her face, she told me she was Syrian and I said thank you in Arabic, something one of the previous girls I dated taught me. She decided to give me an extra discount and brought the blazer’s price down to $30.00 instead of me having to pay $48.50 for it, I was ecstatic.

    With one approach clocked in for Week 1 I knew I could continue my momentum into the following Friday night. I decided to go out with my long time friend and wingman from my Mastery Class whom I have been going out with for the last 2 years, JC. We decided to get our practice in at DL in the Lower East Side. After an incredibly busy Friday morning and afternoon running errands and getting a fresh shave and haircut I dressed up with a plain v-neck, dress shoes, and my brand new fitted blazer that I outfitted with a white pocket square. Lately I’ve made a conscious effort to improve my fashion and for some reason since I’ve been dressing a lot better I’ve been feeling really different and more confident. I had set myself to doing at least 10 Quality Approaches with the task of remembering each girl’s name and utilizing the same types of openers me and Evan agreed on for this challenge.

    I drove into Hoboken and did my usual routine of parking my car in Jersey and riding into Manhattan on the PATH. Because DL gets notoriously packed on Friday nights and harder to get in after 10:30-11:00 I was running late because of the traffic I had hit in Jersey City on my way to Hoboken. I hopped the turnstyle as I was rushing because I didn’t want to waste a second pulling out my wallet and later saw that the 33rd Street PATH had not even arrived yet. I figured I wanted to set the pace and tone as soon as possible much like how a counterpunching boxer dictates the pace of a fight. I saw this cute Asian girl waiting on the platform and I immediately opened her asking her for the time the train was coming, she told me she had no clue as she was also in a rush to get into the city and to meet up with her best friend from California somewhere uptown.

    Just like the cashier from the previous day we flirted and bantered for the duration of the wait for the train and I learned about her background and career. It felt kind of ironic as she was telling me about how her co-worker professed his love for her the previous night as she had absolutely no idea and thought that he was just a nice guy. Despite us vibing pretty well I didn’t have time to exchange contact information or enough time to build comfort with her to push the interaction forward. I said goodbye and sprinted off the PATH at 14th to catch the next F downtown to Delancey. I got to the F station and after waiting for a frustrating 15 minutes the F finally showed up. I put my blazer back on and fixed myself up and neatly brushed my hair back into it’s part on the subway window. I turned and this group of pretty girls headed down to celebrate their friend’s birthday complimented me on my blazer and that I looked fine after fixing myself up. I was a little embarrassed but flattered at the same time and did my second approach with them asking them about their night, where they were headed, and made the assumption that it was someone’s birthday. The birthday girl immediately took a selfie with me for some strange reason. Her friend told me that she’s been doing it all night to make a collage for her 21st.

    As my momentum was slowly building up and my ability to just think on my feet was getting sharper I rushed to DL and met up with my friend JC. We entered and got in with no issues. We started the night off catching up and grabbing a round or 2 of drinks at the bar. Afterwards I eased into the night and continued my momentum through at DL. I clocked in another 9 quality approaches and managed to get a girl’s phone number after spontaneously doing Salsa with her. She actually took my number and punched in her’s immediately into my phone. Apparently she’s a part-time model and a full time student planning on studying law at NYU. She told me to text her as I felt pretty good and indifferent as my momentum and wit was on par that night.

    My friend/wingman that night struggled a little bit but managed to find his pace as we punched in our reps. We called it a night around 2 AM and ended up getting pizza and reflecting on our practice that night. I looked at my list and I didn’t realize that I went over my cap limit of 10. I ended up approaching 12 different girls utilizing all the openers and managed to get a phone number. Speaking of the phone number, let’s take a couple of steps back to the girl I spontaneously started doing Salsa with at DL. I texted her “Fun meeting you and your sister, Get home safe.-Rob From DL” She responded an hour and a half later when I was back at home in Jersey and said “Aww hun, I had a blast tonight. Hit me up”. As I’ve mentioned I didn’t really feel invested or phased but nevertheless I’m going to try and set up a date with her for the upcoming week.

    Normally, my original plan was to post at least two journal posts a week but I felt that it was necessary to combine my last two days of practice into one reflective journal post to give you guys some insight on my mindset going into the last two days. I wanted to emphasize the theme of how developing momentum can transfer over into each following day and the lesson Chris teaches us in his classes about “positive emotions and positive moments lead to positive experiences.” Even though I felt defeated and rusty the previous week, this week was a major start for something I have been putting off for a while. I feel a little more comfortable and I feel like my emotional intelligence is able to be nurtured a little bit more with this new style and approach to the game. I feel like I’m able to react to each girl, readjust, and more importantly empathize with a girl based on the non-verbal expressions they are communicating to me. Stay tuned for the next post.

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