• Evan
    Participant
    #3446

    This is about the last week in general. Friday night class was great. I started to review touching/physical escalation with mike and cairu. I feel like each time I go through it something new clicks. Unfortunately going infield that night was a total fail. Probably because of the cold weather pretty much no one was out — top that off with the anxiety induced by not going out for 2 weeks or so and it was a little rough. Started at gansevort and left because it was pretty empty. Then headed to another place Peter suggested. It was really loud shitty music there – it made approaching really difficult. I did one approach downstairs. I asked an open ended question, got a reception but didn’t get past the opener. My body language was o.k. but I hadn’t worked on the opener for a bit and stumbled after the story. Also, I didn’t move across the group or address different people in it. Unfortunately that was one of like only 2 groups down there.

    I tried 2 approaches on the dance floor. One was actually great, but the girl wasn’t too attractive. She was wearing some sort of fancy necklace and I walked up to her and said “i’m stealing this” while pretending to grab it in a fun way. This went straight into fun role playing about her being a cop and us play-fighting sort of. I spun her around a few times, probably could have progressed further, but wasn’t interested. I tried the same approach to another girl on the dance floor. She seemed receptive, but her friend was super bitchy grabbed her away from me… so, not sure what that was about – I should have engaged the friend more. After that, I really couldn’t handle the scene there and had to leave.

    I also had 1 date this week. Set up a lunch date with a friend of my roommate (chinese girl) who came over for dinner one night at our place. I tried to lead the interaction the whole time – e.g. choosing where to go, having an activity to do afterwards. I could have done more though to show her my life/personality – chris suggested that I could have brought her up to my office. Key idea is to bring her into your world/ expose.

    Then, there was girl I met skiing a week ago – undergrad who recently turned 21. Saturday morning I went to do cross fit and hurt my back squatting – not sure how bad it is still, but it was enough to really disconcert me about going out/ walking around alot. Still, i decided to send a feeler text when I was with a friend of mine saturday night. She said I should meet her and friends in the east village. I met up at one bar, we moved to another (fat cat). I had solid converstation with her and her friend, but couldn’t isolate her (it was just the 2 of them). My friend wasn’t helping at all – I should have talked to him a bit before about trying to isolate them. Anyway, at least the interaction ended positively and she wants to meet up again. I’m feeling like there’s a limited amount of time though to escalate this – lest I fall into friend-zone territory. I was touching a lot though and maybe that will help avoid that.

    On sunday, I had plans to get drinks with the chinese girl, but had to cancel due to my back being destroyed. I actually could have gotten a drink with her – but I felt a lot of anxiety about whether I would be able to physically escalate given my back. I’m now thinking I shouldn’t have canceled as we could have made a further connection w/o physical escalation etc.., and that I chickened out – but w/e. I will text her tomorrow.

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