EvanParticipantAugust 28, 2014 at 11:16 pm #2443
This week was stellar.
In class, we addressed a number of general questions I had about attraction and how we are building it. The key is that moving and speaking wiht the right energy is attractive. You don’t need explicit stories/DHVs etc…
We then went through the entire date model. This model is great and is super enlightening to see the whole thing written out. I can’t wait to read through whatever book Chris puts out on it when it’s all done.
The key new part of the model that we hadn’t covered yet was how to escalate from say kissing towards actually leaving and having sex.
sexually validate – do one of the touch moves (necklace,earing, hair or say, ‘i love your sexual energy’)
escalate – after kissing, acknowledge that you’re turned on
x-projection – say ‘if we were to hook up, there would be great chemistry’
assume – say ‘when we hooke up, there will be great chemistry’
leave – leave saying something like ‘i need to fuck you’
This is great because it sets up the frame of what your’e going to do at your or her place before you get there – it thereby eliminates any awkwardness at the house or last minute resistance.
Ok onto the infield. I was actually in great energy after the lecture. I felt like I had a new understanding. I also had this general attitude that I was saying to myself “you’ve learned enough to be attractive right now, you don’t need to learn something new or have some big mental breakthrough”. I also made a point tonight that I would touch way more and also generally maintain really high energy which we had previously discussed.
We were at the empire hotel. Outside there was an area where a big group of foreigners were hanging out. I actually wanted to try to go a bit more direct tonight. The reason is that I had previous sets where I would ask my question to the group, and they would be like “why are you asking us this”. So, I’ve generally been thinking about the strategy of opening the group with “hey you guys look really interesting” and then if i need to engage the whole group, I can ask an open ended question. What do you guys think about this?
For the first set, I went up to this group of foreingers ( turned out they were all in the US as nannies in westchester). I said “you guys look awesome and I wanted to say hi, how’s your night going”. I was going to ask a general question to the group, but it seemed actually like I didn’t need to as I quickly wound up talking only (just the two of us) to this german girl who was super cute and she was actually asking me questions. She then introduced me to a few other girls. One of them was south american and then we were introduced, I just noticed that she held my hand a little longer and when I touched her she was generally really receptive and would lean in. She was slightly less cute than the german, but given the receptiveness, I decided to focus on her. After a minute of talking, a person tells us they can’t drink outside (maybe?) and we all go inside. Once inside after a second of talking by the bar, I take her hand and move her towards couches that we sit on. We talk a bit more, I’m super touchy. She decides she wants to take a picture of us. She takes two selfies. Then on the third, since our faces are basically up against eachother, I put my hand through her hair and then kiss her. She decides to photo this, and we wind up making out for quite a bit. We talk a bit more. It actually turns out that she’s fairly drunk. She talks about how she’s been drinknig since 3 pm, and although she’s not stumbling at all, shes a bit forgetful of things I said earlier in the conversation. I decide that I would probably sleep with her, but that I don’t want to spend the whole night setting that up, so after we exchange numbers and agree to find eachother again, I go back to the group.
With the group, the next approach I do is two girls at the bar getting drinks. I tell one I love her dress. Again, I never make it to my general question to engage both. We talk about how she’s from DC, and how one of them is really into running. Peter comes in I say, “these two girls are awesome, actually, I’m not sure about his one”. This line is golden by the way. She is laughingly offended to which I hug her and while I do this, turn her away from her friend. We talk a bit more, and I’m touching her shoulder alot, although I can’t quite get her to face me. After talking for a bit, this guy suddenly comes in between the two of us and asks for my name, shaking my hand. After shaking my hand, he gives me a big shove and says “fuck off”. He then goes up to peter and does the same thing to him. Now, I know that’s crazy, inappropriate behavior, but I don’t really care, there’s enough girls at the bar to not care about ones which have crazy confrontational guys following them around. After talking to another girl in their group, Chris later confirmed that one of those guys was dating the girl I was talking to and that his friends were steadily giving him shit for it until he snapped. I sympathize with that , but still… fuck that guy, if you can’t handle other guys talking to your girlfriend, don’t go to a bar with her.
I next approached this gruop of 3 insanely attractive (like they looked like models) girls with one guy. Seemed like maybe he was a promoter or something and they were there to bring guys in. I told them they looked awesome. I then went into my story. I think i was intimidated by how hot they were and lost some confidence and in general hesitated alot. This caused the girl to ignore me after a bit and I left.
I then went with peter to the bar room. Someone must have seen our high energy. We were approached by a girl who was part of a bachelorette party. She asked us if we would take a picture with the two of us kissing the bride on the cheek. I think this would have really intimdated me before, but I was down for it. We did that and then started talking to two girls, one of whom was the one who approached us. I was talking to one girl about weddings. I was touching alot and she seemed interested. But, in the wedding conversation, it came up that she had a boyfriend, so I ejected.
There was one more set that didn’t go so well b/c the girls didn’t speak english. Then, I was about to approach another set when the bolivian girl returned. We went back to the couch, made out a bit more. Danced, went to the roof. I also started going through the sexual escalation model. I said I was turned on. Then said, “if we hook up, we’ll have great chemistry”. Around here though, it became clear that she was drunker than I thought – she kept forgetting things I had said like 10 minutes earlier-, and I decided I wasn’t going to sleep with her that night. It was around 2 am at this point. I was going to do more approaches. Everyone was dancing now, and I felt like I really had no idea how to enter a set of dancing people. Also, i was pretty tired and hungry and decided to head home. All in all though, a good night.
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