Ali Zain has been one of Chris Luna’s best friends for many years. Today, we have him on the show to talk about his personal transformation and how he cultivated deeper intimacy and connection in his dating and sex life.
In this interview, Ali starts by discussing his background, dating experience, and journey of personal exploration. Chris and Ali talk about why there’s a lot of potential shame associated with sexual ability. They also explore the idea of modern male role models, and how bad role models can cause us to develop warped perspectives. Ali then explains the three types of approaches that men have regarding sex. He explains the importance of letting go of the ego and being present in order to develop deeper intimacy and connection.
Next, Ali talks about the lies we tell ourselves, and shares the realizations that he’s had when it comes to accepting and embracing insecurities. Chris talks about guys who have sexual problems due to anxieties and insecurities. Ali offers some practical tips for overcoming these issues. He then goes into the second part of his story, including his wellness journey that led him to become a more well-rounded person. Ali describes his experiences at various personal development retreats and seminars. He also explains why he quit porn, ejaculation, and sex for two and a half years, and how this changed him.
Chris asks Ali about an article that he wrote on The Good Men Project, which ended up going viral. He discusses why he wrote it, what it meant to him, and what he wanted to communicate. He also explains how he’s become more open and honest about his intentions with women. Ali then talks about what he gained from going to various personal development workshops and retreats. He reveals some of the issues that he was dealing with at the time, including anger and self-hate. He discusses how these issues manifested in his life, and what he did to overcome them.
Ali goes on to talk about how porn reinforces the need for sexual variety. He explains how it made him less present, and then expands on the idea of being present, particularly in dating and sex. He also describes how he used to feel very disconnected after sex, and why becoming more open and vulnerable helped him to work through this. Finally, Ali talks about how his sex life has changed since going through his personal transformation. He discusses tantric sex and full-body orgasms. He then offers some last tips and recommendations for experiencing greater intimacy and connection, and having better sex.
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