Nate Bagley is a relationship researcher on a mission to rid the world of mediocre love and help people create amazing relationships. He is the founder of The Loveumentary Podcast, as well as his blog, First 7 Years, and is the CEO and co-founder of Unbox Love.
Nate is also offering a gift for listeners of this podcast! You can get access to it by visiting this link: https://www.first7years.com/gift
In this interview, Nate begins by describing his early struggles with dating and love. He talks about how he quit his job and started traveling around the country interviewing couples, and shares a story of one couple that stands out to him the most. Chris also discusses a recent breakup and some of his past struggles with relationships. Nate goes on to reference a recent Jordan Peterson talk that he attended, and summarizes his insights on self-awareness, vulnerability, and trust.
We then ask Nate to discuss the qualities of couples that make their relationships stand out. He emphasizes the importance of dedication to personal growth, and prioritizing action over insights. He also explains how partners can get on the same page and implement these concepts. Nate then gives some examples of how he and his wife assess their relationship and make each other feel loved. He discusses additional qualities of great couples, including kindness, and shares a story of another memorable couple that he has interviewed.
Next, Nate talks about how to develop healthy relationships, deal with difficult situations, and express kindness even when being emotional. Chris expands on navigating the line between presence and vulnerability, and how this affects the people around him as well as his emotions. Nate goes on to discuss the importance of focusing on the little things, and explains why great relationships are built on rituals. He gives some examples of rituals that he and his wife have created. He also reveals the connection between the ratio of positive to negative interactions and the health of a relationship.
Chris and Nate then talk about doing AirBnB and share their thoughts on space and intimacy. Nate discusses the pervasiveness of loneliness, and how it negatively affects our health. He summarizes a book that he recently read called “Hold Me Tight” by Dr. Sue Johnson. He goes on to provide some more examples of rituals that he does with his wife and that he’s seen in other couples. Nate offers strategies for resolving conflict, reigniting passion, and discussing finances. He also expands on the benefits of doing chores together.
Finally, Nate discusses how to develop the skill of being intentional with your relationships. He talks about knowing and incorporating your values into your everyday life, and shares some of his most important values. Chris expands on his desire to nurture his sense of humor and playfulness, and Nate connects humor to the idea of telling the truth and feeling safe. Nate then highlights the keys to awesome relationships, and talks about what leads to trust and deep connection.
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