Guys often make excuses to avoid going out and socializing. Sometimes they do this because they are scared of rejection or embarrassment, and other times it’s simply because they are addicted to misery. Regardless of the reason, if they ever want to have a fulfilling social life, then change is necessary.
In my experience, a great way to blast away an excuse is to counter-argue the hell out of it! Here’s five common excuses that guys make to avoid being social, followed by some counter arguments to illustrate how silly each excuse really is.
1. “I’m too tired.”
Activity breeds more activity. By sitting around, you’ll continue to feel tired, and may even become more lethargic over time as it gets ingrained into your personality. The only way to build your energy is to push through the discomfort and cultivate the habit of going out consistently.
2. “I’m too busy.”
This is usually a sign that you’re not managing your schedule properly. How much time are you wasting on browsing the internet, watching movies, playing video games, or doing other things that aren’t contributing to your growth and well-being? Are these things really more important than improving your social and dating life?
The longer you continue living the same way, the harder it becomes to change, so make your social life a priority, and adjust your schedule to reflect your values.
3. “I haven’t been out in a while.”
A common worry that I’ve seen from myself and other guys is that they’ll have a horrible night because they haven’t been out in a while. Although this fear will sometimes come into fruition, I’ve also experienced good nights even after a long break from going out. Truthfully, you never know how the night is going to turn out. It’s possible that you’ll end up meeting an awesome woman who will become your next girlfriend.
Also, as I mentioned in the previous excuse, the longer you wait, the harder it’s going to be to get back out there. It may feel uncomfortable in the moment, but down the road, you’ll look back on that time and be glad that you went out. It’s a much better feeling than regret.
4. “The weather is bad.”
Unless there’s a massive hurricane or blizzard that guarantees no one else will be out, make the effort to go out. You won’t regret it. In fact, you’ll have a greater sense of satisfaction that you pushed yourself despite Mother Nature trying to keep you inside. Bad weather doesn’t mean that no one else will be out partying. As long as it’s a weekend night, there’s bound to be plenty of girls to meet. Additionally, going out in bad weather will make it even easier to go out on normal nights.
5. “Cold approach isn’t working for me.”
How long and how consistently have you been applying yourself? Don’t expect instant success, especially if you’ve been socially isolated for years. Progress is never linear, but rather a series of improvements, plateaus, and occasional setbacks. Focusing on the journey instead of obsessing over the “results” will help keep you motivated over the long haul.
Learn to love cold approach, because honestly, it’s one of the best options for meeting women. Even if you find it exhausting, it’s always better to keep pushing yourself than to become complacent and settle for being alone.
Making excuses is easy, and moving past them can sometimes feel impossible. But the next time you catch yourself making an excuse not to do something, write it down on paper, and then write out as many counterarguments as you can come up with. Once you do this, you’ll realize how silly the excuse was in the first place, and you will be convinced to take the action that you originally were trying to avoid.
Mike is the Producer for the Craft of Charisma Podcast.