Jonathan Robinson is a psychotherapist, speaker, and bestselling author of several books, including “More Love, Less Conflict – A Communication Playbook for Couples.” Today, he’s going to teach us specific strategies to help us better communicate with, and understand, the people we love, so that we can have more love in our relationships.
In this interview, Jonathan starts by sharing some of the struggles and family issues that he faced during his childhood. He explains how this sparked his interest in self-help, and talks about what he did to heal himself. Jonathan then goes into some communication tools that we can use to improve the quality of our lives and relationships. He discusses the importance of appreciation and vulnerability, and how they deepen connection. He also describes how providing understanding and empathy for others will draw people to you.
Jonathan then offers additional strategies for demonstrating understanding and empathy, including being a good listener. He gives examples of different types of questions and statements that we can use to create greater intimacy in our interactions. Chris and Jonathan also talk about how in today’s world, we often sacrifice depth and quality for quantity in our relationships. Jonathan describes how we bond through shared vulnerability. He provides examples of how to effectively communicate how we feel and what we want.
Next, Chris talks about expressing and articulating emotions, and gives examples of positive and negative emotions listed in Jonathan’s book. Jonathan then offers strategies for resolving conflict in relationships. He explains what the “yellow light method” is and how he uses it to resolve disagreements with his wife. Jonathan also talks about why blame never works, and emphasizes the importance of taking responsibility and focusing on appreciation. He discusses how to become aware of our own triggers as well as our partner’s triggers, and how to deal with them effectively.
Jonathan expands on the idea of taking responsibility, and explains how relaxing defensiveness eventually leads to forgiveness. He also talks about the importance of sincere apologies and how they affect our relationships. He gives some practical examples of taking responsibility and apologizing. Finally, Jonathan discusses how improving our communication skills will automatically lead to greater connection and emotional depth. He talks about how our ability to communicate determines the quality of our relationships, which in turn affects our sense of happiness.
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