Graham Stoney is a trauma therapist and coach, as well as a comedian and musician, based out of Sydney, Australia. He is the founder of The Confident Man Project, which is dedicated to helping men heal from unresolved childhood trauma and regain their natural self-confidence. He is also a therapist and coach for artists, helping them to overcome performance anxiety. Graham’s main focus is working with men who have experienced emotional abandonment and enmeshment with their mothers.
In this interview, Graham first discusses his background and he got into therapy and coaching. He talks about his difficult childhood, where emotions weren’t handled well in his family, and he often was unable to express himself. We ask Graham to describe the process he went through to become more assertive and expressive. He explains how he learned to release feelings of fear and be more honest about his emotions.
Graham talks about how music and comedy can help with externalizing pain and working through emotional issues. He mentions some additional strategies, including somatic healing, which we discussed more in depth on this recent podcast with Robert Schwenkler. Graham then defines what emotional abandonment is, and describes how it affects people. He also takes us through the emotional development process from birth to adulthood.
Next, Graham discusses how to become more emotionally open and embrace vulnerability. He reveals some of the common blocks to emotional openness. The conversation then shifts into finding truth and meaning in old mythological stories and fables. Graham and Chris talk about literal versus metaphorical interpretations, and taking life lessons from fictional stories.
Finally, Graham describes the process of cutting the emotional umbilical cord from his parents, and learning to properly express his emotions. He talks about clearing emotional baggage and letting go of past traumas, as well as setting boundaries and maintaining healthy relationships. Graham and Chris provide some examples from their own lives.
Mike is the Producer for the Craft of Charisma Podcast.