Whether you’re just learning how to date, or you’re getting back into the singles scene after a divorce or breakup from a long-term relationship, dating can be tough.
There are endless ways to meet potential partners, especially if you live in a major city. From online dating apps, meeting people through your social circle, speed dating events, nightlife, social events, or random daytime scenarios, you might not know where to start, what to do, how to meet that special someone, and navigate modern romance.
Having more options is not necessarily a good thing. Men face unique challenges because they’re usually expected to take the initiative and approach women. If you’re not socially savvy, trying to figure it out on your own can be frustrating, demoralizing, and exhausting.
Plus, if you have a busy life, you’ll probably struggle to find the time and energy you need to go out, improve your social skills, meet women, and go on dates. Without the proper skills, you’ll end up missing out on opportunities time and time again. Speaking of time, the older you get, the more limited your dating options become.
The good news is that you can always seek help from a dating and relationship expert. Once you make that decision, then it’s just a matter of finding the right one for you.
The two most common dating services that people use are dating coaching and matchmaking. But how do you know whether to work with a dating coach, matchmaker, or both?
Your goal is the same regardless – to find love and have a fulfilling relationship. But the ways that each of these services help you achieve your romantic goals are completely different.
This article will take a deep dive into what matchmakers and dating coaches do, the pros and cons of working with each, and how to decide which one you should work with.
What a Matchmaker Does
When you first go to a matchmaker, they will start by doing a thorough analysis of you. They’ll spend a lot of time getting to know all the aspects of your life, including your interests, hobbies, values, personality, etc.
Then they’ll ask you about the qualities you’d like to have in a partner, the vision of your ideal romantic life, and the type of future you want to build together. For extra clarity, they might also ask about your deal-breakers or things you want to avoid in a partner.
Based on all the information they gather about you and your ideal partner, they’ll screen through their network of clients, recommend matches, and arrange the dates for you. You’ll only go on a date if both you and your match agree to meet.
While online dating works in a similar way with screening and finding matches, working with a matchmaker provides more of a personal touch. They like to focus on quality over quantity, which leads to better matches for you.
Unlike online dating where you can match with hundreds or even thousands of people, matchmakers provide you with a much smaller selection. This makes it more manageable and increases your chances of finding a compatible match.
Some matchmaking companies also run detailed background checks on clients so there’s no surprises along the way. Unlike with meeting strangers online or in person, you won’t have to worry about what you’re getting yourself into.
Keep in mind that the quality of the matches you get will depend on the matchmaker’s client base. It’s always a good idea to ask how large their network is before deciding to sign up with them.
If you want better options, you’ll want to go with a more established matchmaker with a larger network. However, be prepared to spend a little (or a lot) more.
According to Consumer Affairs, professional matchmaking services can cost anywhere from $5,000 to $50,000 for a year. The highest end matchmakers will cost even more, while some budget-friendly options might only range from a few hundred to a few thousand dollars.
Depending on the matchmaking company you hire, you might get access to supplementary services. For example, some matchmakers host singles events so that you can socialize with new people and have more options in case your matches don’t work out.
Lastly, certain matchmaking companies also bundle dating coaching with their matchmaking services. But this isn’t always the case. At the very least, you’ll usually get some personalized tips and advice before and/or after your dates to increase your chances of success.
Pros of Working With a Matchmaker
- You’ll save tons of time and effort from meeting women, starting conversations, getting numbers, going on dates, and figuring out who’s right for you.
- They vet and do background checks on their clients so you don’t have to worry about the types of people you’re meeting.
- Some matchmaking companies guarantee a certain amount of dates per month or year.
- You’ll get personalized tips, insights, and advice before and after your dates.
- You don’t have to worry about cold approaching and dealing with anxiety from meeting strangers who you don’t know.
Cons of Working With a Matchmaker
- You won’t have as much control over who you go on dates with since your matchmaker will be providing you with them.
- While you’re guaranteed to get dates, anything beyond that like developing a relationship is up to you and depends on how things go.
- It will require you to get out of your comfort zone and go on dates with women who you haven’t previously interacted with.
- They won’t teach you all the social and emotional skill sets you need to date successfully and become a more attractive and desirable man.
- The approach is more hands-off; matchmakers won’t check in with you on a regular basis like a dating coach would.
When to Hire a Matchmaker
The following are scenarios where hiring a matchmaker would be beneficial:
- You’ve been struggling to find the right people to date for a long time.
- You’re too busy and don’t have time to go out regularly and meet women organically.
- You live in a small town or area where there’s not a vibrant singles scene.
- You want an expert to handle screening and finding matches for you.
- You’re a celebrity or have high visibility and don’t want to be seen on dating apps or be out at public nightlife spots and social environments to meet women.
If you feel confident in your social and dating skills and want to save as much time and effort as possible with finding your next partner, then matchmaking might be the way to go.
But if your skills are rusty and you struggle to connect with women, or you want to get out there and have as many options as possible, investing in a combination of dating coaching and matchmaking or just dating coaching will probably be your best bet.
In the next section, you’ll discover how working with a dating coach can provide you with a greater return on investment and set you up for long-term success in your love life and social life in general.
What a Dating Coach Does
No two dating coaches are exactly the same. They may have different areas of expertise, different philosophies, or different types of clients they prefer to work with.
Regardless, their goal is to provide you with the tools and skill sets you need to become a better version of yourself and create the type of romantic life you desire.
A good, experienced dating coach will meet you where you’re at and help you get to where you want to be, and help you bridge the gap and navigate all the smaller steps and milestones in between.
Depending on your goals, challenges, and experience level around dating and relationships, your journey may look a lot different compared to someone else’s. And that’s okay.
Working with a dating coach can help you improve a wide range of social and emotional skill sets, not just for meeting and connecting with women, but also for empowering yourself and succeeding in other areas of life.
In fact, the key to getting better at dating usually starts with yourself. Some dating coaches, like Craft of Charisma, will start by helping you improve yourself both at a deep inner level and on a practical surface level:
- Overcome insecurities and anxieties
- Process and release emotional traumas
- Develop confidence and feel better about yourself
- Take better care of your physical health and lifestyle
- Improve your image, style, fashion, and grooming
- Develop a more magnetic presence online and offline
When it comes to getting out there to meet women, build connections, and navigate dating and relationships, a dating coach can help you improve in many different areas:
- Where and how to meet singles
- Overcome approach anxiety
- How to approach people (solo or in a group)
- How to build attraction
- How to build an emotional connection
- Understand body language and nonverbal cues
- Become a better conversationalist
- Communicate more assertively and effectively
- How to flirt in person and over the phone or text
- Deal with competition from other guys
- How to overcome rejection and move on
- How to touch in an emotionally intelligent way
- When and how to kiss and move things intimately
- How to get her number and converse over text or phone
- When and how to ask a girl out on a date
- How to set up and navigate dates (where to go, what to do and say)
- Navigating online dating (how to set up your profile, search/match, message)
- How to avoid and/or get out of the friend zone
- How to screen for and find the right partner who’s compatible with you
- How to get a girlfriend and go from casual dating to a relationship
- How to be a leader in any stage of a relationship
- Managing relationship boundaries and expectations
- Building a lasting partnership
Not every dating coach will cover all these areas. But an experienced dating coaching company like Craft of Charisma will guide and mentor you through the entire scope of your journey – from working on yourself before you go out to socialize, to when you start approaching and meeting women, when you start going on dates, and when you go from dating to a relationship and beyond.
So how does the process work? Much like with a matchmaker, a dating coach will start by getting to know all about you. They’ll ask about your dating history, your goals and challenges, what type of romantic life you want to have, and everything in between. A good coach will really dive deep to understand where you want to go and what’s holding you back.
Then they’ll propose a customized action plan and work closely with you to achieve your dating and relationship goals. They’ll provide the right strategies, advice, tools, and exercises for your unique personality and situation. They’ll also keep you accountable as you take action, provide direct and honest feedback, and answer questions whenever you get stuck.
Depending on the coaching program you take, this may be an intensive process over a few days, or spread out consistently over a period of weeks or months. Your coach will check in with you on a regular basis to make sure you’re moving in the right direction. If necessary, they’ll adjust the action plan based on how you’re progressing.
If you take a group coaching program, you’ll have the added benefit of being with a group of like-minded, supportive guys to learn and gain motivation from and build a community with.
While pricing will vary depending on experience and other factors, dating coaching tends to cost a bit less than matchmaking. The main reason is that dating coaching can be done in groups, while matchmaking is strictly a personalized one-on-one type of service. However, the cost of private dating coaching can be on par with some elite matchmaking services.
Here at Craft of Charisma, most of our group programs run between $3000 to $5000, while our private one-on-one coaching ranges from $10,000 to $100,000 based on the location, coach, and time commitment.
Pros of Hiring a Dating Coach
- Potential to massively improve your social and emotional intelligence, self-image, self-esteem, etc. in a short period of time.
- Learn what works and what doesn’t from an expert who’s been there done that and has a solid track record.
- Get outside feedback on your strengths and weaknesses so you know where to start and what to work on.
- They’ll go out with you into bars, clubs, and other social settings so you can get real-time guidance and feedback.
- Get accountability and motivation from your coach (and if you’re in a group coaching program, from the other guys who are on the journey with you).
- Get personalized guidance throughout every stage of your dating journey.
- Learn valuable skills and lessons that you can apply to many other areas of your social life – friends, business, etc.
- Get a better ROI on your dates (or matchmaking service if you’re using one)
Cons of Hiring a Dating Coach
- They don’t set you up on dates – you have to put yourself out there and meet women, start conversations, and start going out on dates and figuring out who’s right for you.
- It can be difficult and scary to open yourself up, address your weaknesses and push yourself out of your comfort zones to improve your social and dating skills.
- There’s no guarantee you’ll find love – you need to internalize and put into action what your coach is teaching you, otherwise you’ll stay stuck in the same old spot.
When to Hire a Dating Coach
The following are scenarios where hiring a dating coach would be beneficial:
- Just getting into the dating scene and not sure where to start
- Getting back into dating after a long hiatus (divorce or breakup)
- Struggling to get over breakups and/or rejection
- Tired of missing out on social and dating opportunities
- Suffering from approach anxiety and/or confidence and self-esteem issues
- Don’t know how to start conversations or keep them going
- Struggling to build emotional connections and create intimacy
- Not sure how to navigate dates – where to go, what to do, and what to say, etc.
- Struggling to get beyond first or second dates with the same girl
- Can’t meet or connect with the types of women you’re interested in
- Can’t keep a girl around and transition from casual dating to a relationship
- Want personalized guidance, accountability, and support from an expert
Many of the guys who come to us either want to get over an ex, get a girlfriend, or just have more options in their dating life. Some also want to build a social circle and go out to meet women with a group of like-minded supportive men.
Consider this question… How much time, money, and effort have you spent on dates over the years that led nowhere? By working with a dating coach, you’ll acquire the skills you need to meet the right women, have better dates, and increase your chances of it turning into something meaningful.
Our Dating Coaching Programs
Here at Craft of Charisma, we offer several different options, from three-day bootcamps, to our signature 8-week program, as well as one-on-one bootcamps and private coaching. All of our coaching is designed to help you make significant progress towards your dating and relationship goals in as short a period of time as possible.
Our 3-Day Dating Bootcamps are an immersive weekend experience designed to help you learn how to approach women, start conversations, and set up dates. The program includes lecture, role-play, infield practice, and real time feedback from our top dating coaches.
Our 8-Week Dating Mastery Program is a life-changing experience that covers everything from approaching, starting and sustaining conversations, navigating touch and intimacy, dealing with rejection, developing confidence, building comfort and emotional connections, setting up and going on dates, and transitioning from dates to relationships. You’ll get weekly lectures, role-play exercises, in-field practice, and real time feedback from our coaches. Plus, you’ll have the opportunity to develop a sense of community with the other students.
We also offer one-on-one bootcamps and longer-term private coaching packages for those who prefer a more personalized and customized approach.
Since dating coaching requires work on your part, the more you put in, the more you’ll get out of it. The right program will depend on your unique personality, skills and experiences, and your goals and challenges.
Over the years, we’ve found that our longer-term programs provide clients with the best results. Change doesn’t happen overnight, or even on a weekend intensive (although it can). But with consistent learning and application over weeks and months, you can make significant progress toward creating the love life you’ve always wanted.
The Choice Is Up to You
So who should you hire, a dating coach or matchmaker?
Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide what’s best for you, based on the information in this article and your own unique situation, preferences, and opinions.
While both matchmakers and dating coaches have the same goal of helping you to find love, they operate very differently.
Matchmakers are great if you’re already socially savvy, want a more hands-off approach and are short on time. You’ll get a smaller but higher quality group of matches to choose from.
On the other hand, dating coaches will teach you the skills you need to confidently go out and meet women anytime and anywhere. Plus, what you learn will carry over into other areas of your social life, professional life, and beyond.
Professional matchmakers and dating coaches will generally only work with clients who have a realistic and healthy mindset around dating, relationships, and love, and are open to putting in the effort, taking risks, and improving themselves.
Some people may benefit from working with both a dating coach and matchmaker at the same time. A dating coach will teach you the skills you need to become better with women. As a result, that will also help you get a better ROI with matchmaking services and increase your chances of finding the one.
If you only had to choose one service, then working with a dating coach will likely provide you with more value and a bigger, more lasting transformation.
Thinking about hiring a dating coach but not sure what to look for? Check out our detailed guide on how to choose the right dating coach.